


No One Ever Falls In Love Gracefully

by hilourry



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Fighting, Fingering, First Time, Fooling Around, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Overstimulation, Riding, Rimming, Uni AU, bj, bottom!Louis, denial of being gay, handjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:44:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilourry/pseuds/hilourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry sometimes fuck, but it's casual. Louis definitely isn't gay or in love with Harry, so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Ever Falls In Love Gracefully

Louis feels blessed, honestly, to have such an amazing roommate and great friends. He was always very social, but university was a whole new place and it was terrifying. On move in day, Louis got there first, standing on his bed and posting posters of his favorite bands and one of David Beckham for good measure. He heard his roommate walk in and smiled wide.

“David Beckham? We’re going to get along just fine,” Liam said and from that moment, Louis knew this guy would be all right. The two of them had made friends across the hall, Harry and Niall, and a guy next door named Zayn, who hated his roommate but spent most of his time with the other boys.

Louis and Harry were a little bit closer than the rest, something connecting them with a stronger bond. They always shrug it off, saying they just have a lot in common, but the other three can always see it. 

Liam is at football practice while Louis and Harry are on Louis’ bed working on an English assignment. Louis taps his pen against his notebook, his focus dwindling.

“I’m stuck,” Louis announces solemnly. Harry laughs, pushing his textbooks away.

“I know. I can’t read about this shitty relationship anymore,” Harry whines. 

“It’s such a disaster. I want to read happy endings so I have some hope for my future,” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, same. Hey, have you ever, like, fooled around with a guy before? Like in the book?” Harry asks, eyes fluttering when he looks over at Louis.

“Me? No, no. I, uh, it never came up, you know,” Louis shrugs awkwardly. “What about you, Styles? You’ve got a good rep going for you.”

Harry huffs out a short laugh. “No, I haven’t. Like you said, it never came up.”

They’re looking at each other, eyes roaming over each other’s faces. They’re close, really close, and they’re both holding their breath.

“Is…” Louis whispers. “Is it coming up now?”

“If you want it to,” Harry whispers back, leaning in a little closer. 

“We can…you know, try it?” Louis suggests, staring Harry’s lip, his own parting slightly. 

“Yeah, yeah, we can,” Harry breathes.

“Okay,” Louis says softly.

“Okay,” Harry agrees.

“What now?” Louis whispers, the air thick.

“I kind of want to kiss you, if that’s alright?” Harry murmurs and Louis stutters out a nod.

“You…you can.”

“Okay, I will.”

They stare for another moment, and Louis is going to burst into flames if Harry doesn’t do it soon. His body is shaking with anticipation. Harry closes the space between them, pressing his lips to Louis’ softly. Louis’ mind goes fuzzy and blank, his eyes closing softly. 

“How was that?” Harry breathes against his lips, afraid of breaking the fragile moment. 

It’s different, Louis thinks, but it’s so nice, I want to keep doing it over and over again, maybe for the rest of my life.

“Good,” Louis replies softly. 

“Do you want to do it again?”

“Yeah, yeah, we can do it again.”

So Harry does, kissing him with soft, gentle lips, laying him flat on his back.

“Oh,” Louis squeaks. 

“What? Is something wrong?” Harry asks quickly. Louis pulls a book out from behind his lower back and they’re both giggling. Louis tosses the book to the floor and lies back against the bed.

“Okay, that’s better,” Louis promises, and Harry grins, leaning down and kissing him again, and again, and a little bit more. Louis can’t really tell how much time has gone by, it might be ten minutes, but for all he knows, it could have been ten years. Either way, he doesn’t mind very much. 

Somehow, Louis’ legs wrap around Harry’s waist, his hips rolling against Harry’s, their tongues teasing each other. Harry’s hands are on each side of Louis’ head, grinding his hips gently, the both of them hard in their jeans. Louis feels like he’s 16 again with how fast he can feel the heat pooling in his stomach. This reminds him of the first time he masturbated to porn. But this is Harry, this is his best friend, kissing him and grinding on him. It’s sort of like being with a girl, except not because Harry’s stubble is rubbing against his and the outline of his cock is pulsing against Louis’ and it’s so different and so good. This is Harry, and it should feel weird but it doesn’t and he just wants to keep doing this but-

He gasps, his cock spurting hotly inside of his jeans. He freezes and Harry breaks their kiss, blinking down at Louis.

“Did you just…?”

“N-no,” Louis stutters, shaking his head quickly.

“Louis, it’s okay if you did,” Harry says softly. 

“I…didn’t mean to,” Louis whispers. 

“Louis,” Harry gives him a gentle smile and a soft kiss on his lips. “’s alright, really.”

Louis just nods, biting his swollen lip. 

“Do you…want me to take care of you?” Louis asks shyly, nodding towards the bulge in Harry’s jeans.

“Yeah, yeah, if you want,” Harry nods, sitting up on the bed. Louis crawls towards him, hesitantly pulling his jeans down his thighs and letting his large cock fall onto his stomach. Louis gasps quietly at the size, but stays quiet. He spits in his hand, gripping Harry’s cock. Harry exhales sharply, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the wall. 

“Louis,” Harry warns, Louis’ hand working him slowly. Louis knows he’s close and swipes his thumb against the slit. Harry muffles a moan into the back of his hand and he comes into Louis’ hand, hot and fast. 

They stare at each other for a few long, silent moments, only filled with their heavy breathing. 

“I should get going,” Louis says quietly, awkwardly wiping his hand with a tissue.

“Louis, this is your room,” Harry reminds him, his eyebrows knit together.

“Yeah I just, I have that…thing to go to and-“ Louis checks his wrist with no watch on it. “Well, I’m probably late. I’ll…see you later.”

Louis is out the door quickly and rushing down the hallway. He doesn’t know where he’s going to go, but he wants it to be far, far away from Harry. 

Within the first two weeks of school, Louis found two spots that he partially claimed as his. When it was nice out, he’d sit underneath the big oak tree in the quad. When the weather was shit, he’d fold himself into a corner of the library, away from everyone else. The only things he ever brought with him were his iPod, headphones, a pen, and his journal. Some time in his early teenage years, he started writing lyrics down, anything he could come up with. His mom had forced him to play piano, and he absolutely despised it at first, but once he got over the initial frustration of it, he liked it. It was soothing and he misses being able to play every day now that he’s away from home. Since that’s currently not option, he sticks with writing songs.

It’s pouring rain when he gets outside, which Louis can only assume has to be an omen for his shitty, shitty life that he’s gone and fucked up at the ripe age of 19. He goes to the library and sits in his usual corner, sighing heavily when he realizes he didn’t bring his notebook with him. He grabs loose-leaf paper and a pen from one of the desks and sits back down. 

There’s no way I’m gay, Louis thinks to himself. It was just a heat of the moment thing. I definitely like girls, and boobs, and vaginas, and-yeah, definitely not boys.

His head is all over the place, barely aware of which way is up. It was really nice, though, Louis thinks. Harry’s lips are so luscious and it wasn’t anything like kissing a girl but…no, no, I like girls. That’s final.

Louis wants to scream and throw things, because Harry has gone and fucked him up. He looks down at his lap and realizes he never changed his pants, and there’s a nice come stain on the crotch of his jeans, which are thankfully black. 

“Fucking shit,” Louis mumbles to himself. He stares at the blank sheet of paper and gives up, silently hoping Harry is gone by the time he gets back. 

When Louis gets back to his small dorm room, Liam is back and already showered with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Hey, Lou. Everything alright?” Liam asks, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Yup, everything is great,” Louis gives a tight smile. “Think I’m going to take a nap or something, though. Massive headache.”

“Alright. If you need anything I’ll be here,” Liam reminds him and Louis nods gratefully. He moves towards his bed, slightly shuddering when he passes his trash bin and sees the soiled tissue from earlier in the day. Louis tries to nap, honestly, but it doesn’t really work, so he ends up staring at the brick wall in front of him.  
~  
“Louis! Wake up! Wake up!” Harry whines loudly, shaking Louis’ sleeping body. “I’m so hungry and you promised we’d go to breakfast this morning! Get your lazy arse up!”

“Humph,” Louis groans, curling further into his pillow. “Louis died, he can’t come.”

“That’s a shame, but I’ll drag his dead body down if I have to,” Harry warns and Louis groans again.

“You’re not very pleasant,” he mumbles, sitting up and glaring at Louis. Harry grins at him and leans over, kissing him softly on the lips, just a quick kiss that makes Louis’ head spin. He thought things would be awkward after yesterday but maybe Harry liked it too. 

“My breath probably tastes like a skunk died in it,” Louis says seriously, but Harry just grins.

“It’s fine. I got my good morning kiss,” Harry says triumphantly, grinning like a child. 

Louis rolls his eyes with a fond smile, getting out of bed and getting himself dressed. They walk down to breakfast together in comfortable silence. Harry seems like he’s glowing, honestly, and Louis isn’t sure if he should be worried or flattered. Louis wants to bring it up, but Harry kissed him again this morning, and Louis kind of wants to kiss him some more. 

“What are you doing on this wonderful Sunday?” Harry asks, swallowing a bite of his toast.

“Well, I’m here with you, and then I’m probably going to be dragged into doing what you want,” Louis laughs.

“You’re probably very right. We can just hang out and watch movies today. Niall is going to be gone the whole day,” Harry shrugs, adverting his eyes. Louis wonders if he’s thinking about kissing Louis more, because maybe it won’t be so bad. 

“Okay, that sounds fun,” Louis smiles, stabbing a piece of scrambled egg with his fork. It’s quiet for a minute, and Louis really doesn’t want things to get weird between them. He wants to keep his best friend. 

“We’re still on for Friday?” Harry asks and Louis looks at him for a second, his brain still foggy. “Lou,” he laughs. “I’m going to have to start writing reminders on your body for you. We’re going to that new club, right?”

“Oh! Right, yes, club. Yeah, definitely up for it,” Louis smiles.

“Good. I want to get a few drinks into you and watch you grind on me,” Harry smirks and Louis genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not. He almost hopes he isn’t but grinding on a dude at a club is considered gay, isn’t it? And Louis isn’t gay, not even a little bit. Louis decides to just laugh and take a large gulp of tea, wanting to change the subject. 

“The other boys coming too?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, they should be,” Harry replies. 

Breakfast is normal, besides the few sexual comments Harry makes about Louis, and Louis really isn’t sure what he’s doing. 

They go to Harry’s room, and Louis really does try to be interested in We’re The Millers, but Harry is sitting so fucking close to him and when Harry starts nuzzling his nose against Louis’ throat, Louis is kissing him. He doesn’t mean to, really, but Harry is so damn close and Louis wants to tear his clothes off.

“You never brushed your teeth,” Harry mumbles against his lips, and Louis is laughing, really laughing, tossing his head back and Harry kisses his neck, and then Louis isn’t laughing anymore. 

“Oh,” is all Louis can say, feeling a gentle nibble near his Adam’s apple. Harry doesn’t stop until there’s a small red mark, sure to stay for a few days. But then Harry’s kissing his lips again.

“I didn’t brush,” Louis reminds him, pulling away only a centimeter.

“That’s okay,” replies Harry, kissing him again, and okay, if Harry can deal with that, then wow. 

Louis isn’t sure how long this goes on, the kissing in their dorms and the quick handjobs given to get the job done. It doesn’t go any further, but it never stops, either. He can’t tell where this is going, or if he even wants to figure it out, so he stops thinking and lets it happen.

The weirdest part for Louis is that it never gets awkward. They never talk about what’s going on, but it’s never weird after. They don’t kiss in front of others, but they kiss plenty in private, sneaking hands down sweat pants and boxers. 

It becomes more serious on a Thursday night. Liam’s already out for the night, at some club with the girl he’ s been hooking up with, and he invites Louis, but Louis tells him he just wants to stay in tonight. Naturally, that means Harry comes over, and there’s lots of kissing, but Harry seems to want to take it further. His hands are up Louis’ shirt, so Louis lets him take it off completely. Harry sucks a dark bruise below his collarbone, and Louis is biting on his lip.

Louis’ pants are off, and he has a hard time remembering how that even happened, but it was definitely Harry who did it. But, oh, Louis thinks he helped him take them off, but, no, whatever, Louis is naked. He’s naked and Harry is kissing him and oh, Harry is naked, too. Louis’ mind is so foggy and he hasn’t the slightest clue what’s going on. All he’s aware of is how Harry’s mouth is moving against his. 

Harry spreads Louis’ legs, trailing his fingers down Louis’ torso and Louis thinks he’s going to grab at his cock, like usual, but doesn’t. He passes it, instead pressing a cool finger against Louis’ hole. Louis gasps and breaks the kiss, staring wide-eyed at Harry.

“Woah, what…what are you doing?” Louis squeaks, his voice higher than thought possible. Harry just smiles softly at him.

“I thought we could try it. Is…this okay?” Harry asks, voice gentle as his finger traces the puckered skin.

“Uh, I…I’m not sure,” Louis swallows, chewing on the inside of his cheek. 

“C’mon, Lou,” Harry breathes, pressing his finger softly, but not enough to penetrate. 

“We…Harry,” Louis almost whimpers, not sure what to say.

“We can stop if you don’t like it,” Harry insists, laying a secure hand on his hip. 

“O-okay,” Louis stutters, nodding a little. Harry grins, pressing a light kiss just below his belly button. 

“Okay,” he agrees. “Do you have anything?”

“Yeah, top drawer.” 

Harry fumbles around quickly, grabbing a condom and a small bottom of lube Harry assumes Louis keeps for those lonely, horny nights. He pours a glob onto his fingers, circling his hole again. Louis isn’t sure if Harry’s nervous or not, can’t tell, but kind of hopes he is. 

All thoughts are lost when Harry’s finger slides in, and Louis freezes. Things are supposed to come out of there, not go in, and this is so backwards and this is Harry and his head is heavy. He feels like he can’t breathe, like all the oxygen is being sucked out of him, but Harry’s rubbing his thigh and cooing softly. 

“Gotta relax, Lou. ‘s gonna hurt more if you don’t,” Harry instructs softly, and he sounds so certain and so warm and inviting that Louis does relax. He sighs deeply, rolling his shoulders and closes his eyes.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Louis speaks slowly. 

“Want you to enjoy this, too,” Harry adds, placing a tender kiss on his inner thigh, and Louis almost cries at the gesture. He nods a little, biting his lip. Harry adds a second finger, gently twisting them, and Louis isn’t really sure how he feels until, oh.

“Oh,” Louis gasps, sitting up on his elbows. “H.”

“Lou? Alright?” Harry looks up with concern etched n his face.

“Can-do that again, please,” Louis asks quietly, lying back down. Harry smiles, brushing his fingers over Louis’ swollen gland deep inside. Louis feels his cock twitch on his belly, that little bump inside of him making his toes curl when Harry grazes it.

“Good spot?” Harry asks softly.

“Y-yeah, very good,” Louis agrees. He has to take a second to laugh at his life: his best friend’s fingers are up his arse and Louis actually enjoys it. Honestly, really, what is even happening.

Louis stops thinking when a third finger slides in, making Louis choke out a little sob. It’s intense, very intense.

“Louis?”

“I’m fine,” Louis nods, trying to give him a weak smile. Harry gives his thigh a kiss again, and it makes Louis weak.

Harry’s fingers are scissoring inside Louis’ tight walls at a slow pace, stretching him open and Louis’ cock is hard and leaking precome. He doesn’t think he can wait much longer, so he grabs Harry’s shoulder, digging his fingers in slightly.

“Harry,” Louis breathes, and their eyes lock. 

“Yeah?” Harry asks softly, and Louis nods with a small smile on his lips. 

Harry moves up, sitting on his knees between Louis legs. Louis takes the condom off the bed, ripping it open and rolling it onto Harry’s large cock. His hand doesn’t quite enclose over his girth, and it has Louis quivering. He coats him with lube, making sure it’ll be an easy fit, or at least he hopes. His fingers didn’t hurt too much, but Harry’s cock is much larger than his three fingers. Harry kisses away his worry, though, and Louis knows he’s in good hands. 

Harry’s pressing the tip in somewhere during there kiss, and Louis’ gasping and tensing up.

“Lou,” Harry warns softly. 

Louis doesn’t say anything, but grips Harry’s shoulders. It’s strange, and it’s so overwhelming. Harry’s actually inside of him, or at least, he’s trying to be, and Louis can’t quite wrap his head around it yet. Harry just kisses him, though, long and soft, pressing in a little further. 

Louis can feel his hole swallowing up Harry’s cock greedily, clenching and pulling him in more and more until Harry’s balls are snug against his cheeks. Louis legs out a long breath he didn’t notice he was holding after breaking away from their kiss. It’s so much, but it’s also not enough.

“Oh, Harry,” Louis whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut. Harry’s hands are on his hips, and he begins to roll his hips gently. 

“So tight,” Harry breathes. He bends over Louis’ small frame, his elbows next to Louis’ head, his necklaces dangling into Louis’ face. “Fuck.”

“H, need you to hit that spot again,” Louis begs, not even sure if that’s the right question to be asking, but Harry seems to understand. With a couple of awkward angles, he finally finds that spot again, making Louis scream. 

Once that spot is found, Harry can’t miss it. Louis is whining and shouting loudly, his hands fisting Harry’s curls.

“God, Harry, fuck me harder! Shit, oh, god, right there! So good,” he yells. Harry wants to put his hand over Louis’ mouth as a muzzle so others can’t here him, but he can’t, because he’s the one making Louis feel this good, and he wants to hear every sound he causes Louis to make.

As Louis’ orgasm builds, his screams are getting louder. He knows people are complaining, they have to be, and when he hears banging on the door, he chooses to ignore it.

“H, the door,” Louis whines into his neck, his nails scratching down Harry’s back.

“Let them be mad, want them to hear you scream,” Harry says lowly, plowing into Louis harder, which only makes Louis louder. “Busy!” Harry shouts at the door, gripping Louis tighter.

“Shit, Harry, oh, I think I’m close. Oh, god,” Louis moans, his thighs trembling. He’s pretty sure he lasts longer when he’s with a woman, but this is Harry, so, that explains that.

“Me too, Louis. So close. You’re so good,” Harry groans. “You’re so amazing.”

That’s what does it for Louis, the stupid simple compliments Harry gives him has him crying out and coming over his tummy. His breathing is ragged and Harry comes right after, snuggled inside Louis’ tight heat. 

“Wow,” is all Louis can come up with. Wow, real smooth, Tomlinson, Louis thinks to himself. Harry laughs though, kissing him softly.

“Yeah, wow is right,” Harry replies, and Louis decides it wasn’t such a bad word of choice. Harry pulls out gently, tying the condom and tossing it out. Louis is ready to get out of bed and shower off the sticky feeling and maybe get rid of how ashamed he feels, but Harry’s lips are working down Louis torso, and his body is suddenly too heavy to move. 

Harry leaves small little marks on his body, just small reminds, and Louis sort of loves them. He wants to close his eyes and fall asleep, his post-orgasm state making him so incredibly tired, but he wants to watch Harry, wants to see how good he looks like this, so he opts to keep his eyes opened a little longer. 

Harry moves down further and puts Louis’ thighs over his shoulders. Louis eyebrows come together in confusion, but then he feels Harry’s mouth over his hole, and he makes a noise of disapproval. 

“Harry, what the hell are you doing?” Louis asks quickly, looking between his legs. Harry kind of looks like a kicked puppy.

“I heard it’s called rimming, thought I could try it?” Harry explains.

“You do know I shit out of there, right? And now, what, you’re going to eat me out or something?” Louis asks, exasperated. Harry shrugs.

“I fucked you there, too. Can you just…shut up and let me try it?” Harry huffs in annoyance. 

“It’s weird, but it’s your tongue. Be my guest.”

“Thank you.”

And, okay, wow, Louis is a fucking idiot. When Harry’s tongue traces his rim and his tongue delves into the silky walls, Louis is gasping for breath.

“Oh, Jesus Christ. It’s sensitive, Harry,” Louis whines, but Harry doesn’t even pause, just presses his tongue in farther, circling it around. Louis grips the sheets tightly, his back arching. He’s heard of this; oversensitivity, but he’s never experienced it before. When he fucks a girl, it’s once, maybe a second time when he’s good and ready, and that’s it. But this is, Christ, this is like his hole is lite on fire then ice, his cock is conflicted and tired, debating whether or not it’s supposed to be hard this quickly. 

It is hard, Louis notices, painfully, and Louis kind of wants to strangle Harry for doing this to him, but then Harry does the swirly thing with his tongue and he forgets his own name. He can feel his thighs squeeze against Harry’s head, and he’s pretty positive he doesn’t have any control over his own body at this point. He can feel Harry chuckling, giving his thighs a squeeze, diving his tongue in further, and Louis is crying. He’s got tears streaming down his face, and he’s so angry and embarrassed. Harry is between his legs, eating out his fucking asshole of all things, and Louis is crying like a little bitch. 

“Harry,” Louis sobs, gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles turn white. It isn’t fair, how much control Harry has over him just because of his tongue lapping over his most intimate place. He knows he’s close again, he can feel it in his stomach, feels it in the way his dick is throbbing. Harry’s mouth is always wonderful when they kiss, wonderful enough to get Louis to come in his goddamn pants, but this, well, this is different. 

Louis feels so absolutely wrecked, so vulnerable. It takes a lot for Louis to let his guard down, and now he’s got Harry, and now this is a thing, and Louis is scared, so fucking scared.

When Harry runs his thumb over Louis’ tightening balls and stabs his tongue inside the velvet walls, Louis is sobbing his name, cock twitching and spurting white ribbons over his torso for the second time tonight. Louis never thought coming untouched would be this easy, but this is Harry. 

“Good boy. You did so good,” Harry coos softly, kissing inside his thighs again, something Louis has decided he likes very, very much. 

Harry gets them cleaned up and kisses his forehead, moving to wrap his arms around Louis. Cuddling isn’t something they do. They make out, they get each other off, and now apparently full on shag, but cuddling isn’t a thing. Louis can’t cuddle with another guy, because that’s gay, and Louis isn’t gay. 

Louis jumps off the bed, putting on sweats and a t-shirt quickly. Harry looks at him, confusion and a little bit of hurt written on his face.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks, and Louis really needs to think of a good excuse so he doesn’t hurt Harry too much.

“I have to take a shit,” Louis says firmly, hoping that it’s a good enough excuse to keep him away. Harry laughs though, really laughs, and shakes his head.

“Romantic. Go for it,” Harry shrugs, lying back in the bed and grabbing the remote to the TV. Louis takes this as a sign that Harry isn’t going to leave, and Louis wants to kick him in the face, but he won’t, because he definitely just gave him the best sex of his life.

His walk to the bathroom is awkward, the unusual soreness he’s never experienced before making the trip difficult. It’s a dull throb, but it doesn’t hurt too much. Louis almost thinks of it as a nice reminder. 

He really doesn’t want to go back and cuddle with Harry, but he doesn’t know how to tell him. Louis has to think quickly so Harry doesn’t think Louis fell into the toilet and died. Oh, maybe that excuse could work. 

He builds up the courage to go back to his room, and Harry is sleeping, of course. Louis doesn’t blame him; orgasms are exhausting and he’s so tired himself. He curls into Liam’s bed, knowing Liam probably won’t even come home tonight. He desperately wants to sleep, but his brain won’t turn off. He thinks about Harry, thinks about them kissing, thinks about how he felt inside of him and licking and kissing a part of him he never thought anyone else would ever touch. 

Louis can’t stop thinking about it. Then, he’s scared; he’s scared because he can’t be gay. He hears the way people talk about gays, the derogatory language they use. There are some people that believe gays should die, that God hates them, that they shouldn’t be on this earth, and that makes him physically nauseous. He needs to be with a woman, he needs to marry one and have kids with her and be normal, but he doesn’t want to be. He’s never felt so comfortable with someone before, and now he’s got Harry, who makes him feel so loved and safe and he’s never going to be able to admit that out loud. 

He’s weak; he knows this because no matter how badly he wants to cuddle in Harry’s arms and promise him the world, he won’t, because he can’t face the consequences. 

Louis can’t remember the last time he cried, really cried out of sadness and despair. He thinks the last time might have been his grandmother’s death, and that was nearly 6 years ago. Louis isn’t a crier, never was. But now, he’s curled close to Liam’s pillow, sobbing quietly, his chest heaving. He silently wishes he was in Harry’s arms, holding him tight and listening to his heartbeat, but he’s not. He’s alone in Liam’s bed, only feet away from Harry, but it feels like millions of miles.

He tries to be quiet so not to disturb Harry, but Harry hears him. He’s always been a light sleeper, and he wakes up to a quiet whimper from the other side of the room. He lifts his head a little, peering over and noticing it’s coming from Louis, his face buried into a pillow, and even in just the moonlight, Harry can see his shoulders shaking. Harry’s heart sinks into his stomach. He knows he’s crying because of what just happened, it has to be, and that stings. Harry thought he liked it, but then he realizes he didn’t want to cuddle, made an excuse to leave him right after. Now, he’s crying, and Harry knows he’s the one that caused it. 

He turns over, facing the wall and clutching Louis’ pillow, just like Louis is doing with Liam’s, and he cries. He does a good job of keeping it quiet, and if Louis hears him, he doesn’t say so. 

When Harry wakes up in the morning, he looks over at a sleeping Louis. His chest aches a little bit with his flawless he looks with his hair mused from sleep and his lips parted. He looks so soft and Harry wants to kiss him all over. He quietly gets out of bed, walking over to Louis’ desk and grabbing a small piece of scrap paper and a pen. He leaves it on Louis’ desk before walking over to Liam’s bed, leaning down and placing a soft kiss onto Louis’ cheek and whispering a “see you later, Lou.”

Louis wakes up to the sun beaming brightly in his face and Liam folding his laundry. Louis takes a moment to look around and gain his memory back from his sleepy haze, and then he remembers. 

“Li, hey,” Louis says quietly, voice groggy with sleep.

“Everything alright, mate? Why aren’t you in your own bed?” Liam asks.

“Oh,” Louis says, trying to think of a good reason to explain this instead of having to tell the truth. “Think I had one too many to drink last night, sorry, mate.”

“It’s fine, I just got back,” Liam shrugs.

“How was Danielle?” Louis says with a knowing smile, wiping the crust from his eyes.

“Great, yeah,” Liam grins. “She’s really great. I think she’s a keeper.”

“I hope so,” Louis smiles, getting off his bed. 

“I’m gonna shower,” Liam grabs his towel.

“Okay,” Louis calls, walking over to his desk to grab his books for class. He sees a note lying on his lit book, and he swallows, knowing it’s got to be from Harry.

Louis,

I had to go talk to my statistics professor, so I got up early, hope I didn’t wake you.

I just wanted to tell you last night meant a lot to me and I’m glad we did that. I hope you feel the same way, and if you don’t, I’m sorry if I took advantage. So, yeah, last night was really good and I wanted you to know that.

Dinner tonight?

Harry .xx

Louis really doesn’t know if he wants to punch him or kiss him until his lips fall off.  
~  
Louis thinks about Harry throughout the day, thinks about his necklaces dangling over his face last night, the way Harry fit his body like two puzzle pieces. He decides it isn’t fair to just cut Harry off, so when he gets out of class for the day, he’s knocking on Harry’s door.

“Louis,” Harry smiles.

“Harry,” Louis says softly. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Harry moves over, allowing Louis to come into his small dorm. Niall isn’t there, thankfully, so this gives Louis alone time with Harry.

They sit on Harry’s bed, facing each other, and Harry looks so good, Louis thinks, with his curls messy and his lips red and raw. Louis is sure that if Harry were to take off Harry’s shirt right now, he’d have scratch marks all down his shoulder blades because of him, and he’s a little bit smug about it. 

“So, I just wanted to come over and tell you I’m sorry about last night. You know I’ve never been with a guy before and I just…I don’t know, kind of freaked out. It’s nothing personal, really, it’s just, yeah. I sound like an idiot,” Louis laughs at himself.

“Not an idiot,” Harry smiles. “I get it. It’s all right. I was worried I did something wrong.”

“No, no, nothing wrong. It was incredible, if I’m honest,” Louis breathes another laugh. “Much better than I would have guessed.”

“Yeah?” Harry asks softly, his hand moving up Louis’ thigh. Louis’ eyes lock with Harry’s, and he nearly forgets how to speak, so he just nods instead of making himself sound like a baboon. 

And then, Harry is kissing him, just like he always does, and it’s Louis’ new favorite thing. They fit together so well and it always feels safe, like nothing can hurt them if they stay like this. 

Harry straddles his lap, kissing him deeper, then brings his lips down to Louis’ neck, and sucks a love bite into it.

“You were so amazing last night, Louis,” Harry murmurs into his skin. “You made me feel so good. I want to make you feel good again, okay?”

Louis just nods, not trusting his voice, and Harry kisses him again. His hands find Louis’ jeans, popping the button open and unzipping them, pulling them off his thighs and down his legs. Louis kicks them off his ankles, gapping up at him. Harry gives him a smile before getting off the bed and onto his knees on the floor, pulling Louis close to the edge. 

“Gonna make you feel good, always,” Harry promises, taking his cock in his palm and licking the head obscenely. Louis gasps, putting his right hand in Harry’s hair. 

“Oh, god,” Louis mutters, lying back on his elbows. Harry smirks, wrapping his sinful lips around Louis’ cock, sucking him down his throat. 

And, Jesus, Louis has never gotten a blowjob like this before. He’s not stupid, he knows Harry’s excellent, knows it’s much better than anything he’s gotten from a girl, but, that doesn’t make him gay. Not at all, right?

Harry fits him into his mouth, glancing up at Louis, and Louis is so fucking close already. He runs a shaky hand through his hair, slowly bucking his hips against Harry’s mouth. 

“Oh, fuck, Harry,” Louis moans, his hips rolling slowly, fucking into Harry’s mouth. He knows he’s going to come soon, and he really doesn’t want to. He wants to stay like this, wants this to last forever, but once glance down at Harry has him tossing his head against the wall and coming down his throat. His vision goes blurry at how hard he slams his head, and then Harry’s lips are gone, straddling Louis again and cradling his head in his hands.

“Louis, are you alright?”

“You have my come on your face,” Louis says seriously, before giggling and Harry laughs.

“Twat,” he shakes his head, wiping it off his chin and licking it. “All better.”

“You’re filthy,” Louis groans.

“How is your head?”

“I’m fine, Harry,” Louis laughs. “Just a little bump.”

“Good,” Harry smiles, kissing him softly. Louis wants to stay and kiss him the whole day, he really does, but he can’t. He has to leave before it leads to possible cuddling. He can’t overstay.  
“Hey, listen,” Louis says softly, breaking apart from Harry. “I gotta head out, alright? I have a paper due Monday.”

“Do you want me to keep you company?” Harry asks, a bit eagerly.

“No, I think I need to be alone.”

“Oh. Alright. What about dinner?” Harry asks.

“I’m not sure. I’ll let you know, okay?” 

“Okay,” Harry says softly, swallowing thickly. Louis kisses the frown on his face and Harry moves off of him, watching him leave the room. 

Can’t do dinner tonight. Maybe another night? Sorry.

-Lou x

Louis sends the text quickly, shoving his phone under his pillow and staring at the ceiling. He really hates himself sometimes.  
~  
Hey, busy today?

Louis wakes up to the text from Harry, and no, he definitely isn’t busy.

Free as a bird. What’s up?

I have a surprise. Meet me in the music wing?

It’s a Saturday morning, and Louis has no idea why Harry wants him there, but tells him he’ll be there at noon.

They’ve been a thing, kind of, but not really. They’ll fool around, Harry will fuck Louis, and then Louis will leave because he can’t handle the aftermath. Harry can’t mind too much, though, because he still stays. He still talks to Louis and he’s always around and still makes love to him and Louis is fine with it because he isn’t gay, so. 

Louis really doesn’t know what to expect when he gets to the music wing, but Harry is grinning at him, and Louis thinks he looks a little bit manic.

“What are you up to, Styles?” Louis asks accusatorily.

“I told you, I have a surprise,” Harry grins. He looks down the hallway in both directions before opening the door to the choir room and gesturing for Louis to follow. Louis has always loved music but never joined choir because it wasn’t the type of music he liked. He wanted to write and play piano and sing his own words, not gospel music with a bunch of other people he can’t tolerate.

Looking around the empty room, Louis sees the large grand piano in the center, then glances at Harry, who’s still grinning.

“I know how much you miss your piano back home, so, yeah,” he shrugs, his cheeks a beautiful shade of pink.

“Are we allowed to be in here?” Louis asks and Harry shakes his head no.

“Nah, but rules are meant to be broken, right?”

Louis kisses him forcefully, because he really doesn’t know anyone on earth that would do anything like this for him. Harry smiles into it, gripping his hips. 

“C’mon, work your magic for me,” Harry prompts and Louis giggles.

“I’m not even that good, Harold,” Louis insists as he walks towards the piano with Harry’s hand in his.

“I’m sure you’re wonderful, Lou,” Harry grins, jumping onto the piano, letting his feet dangle off of it. 

“Usually, you’re supposed to sit on the bench, not on the actual piano,” Louis rolls his eyes with a fond smile, but Harry is a cheeky little shit. “What should I play?”

“Anything you want,” Harry shrugs. He lays flat on his stomach, putting his chin and his hand and grinning at Louis. Louis feels his palms are sweaty and he doesn’t want to mess up in front of Harry.

“If I’m honest, I don’t know many songs, but I love The Fray a lot, as you know, so I taught myself How To Save A Life. Please don’t laugh at me,” Louis says dramatically, cracking his knuckles for effect and Harry chuckles.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Harry solemnly swears, and Louis really does believe him.

Louis’ fingers begin to play, trying to remember the exact movements and which keys to play at what time. He’s not bad, he has to admit, and it’s kind of like riding a bike for him. He’s staring so hard at the keys that he doesn’t even notice Harry staring at him.

“Sing, Lou,” Harry says quietly, and Louis really doesn’t sing in front of people, not even his family, but this is Harry asking, so, yeah.

Step one, you say we need to talk. He walks, you say “sit down, it’s just a talk”

Smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right, as he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame, you begin to wonder why you came 

While Louis is getting into the chorus, he hears Harry join in, and Louis doesn’t mind at all. He’s never head Harry sing, but honestly, he’d do it for the rest of his life if he could. 

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I’d known how to save a life

They finish the song together, their voices a perfect compliment of each other’s. Louis finishes the last few cords, finally gaining the courage to look up, and Harry’s so close to his face, and he looks so pretty, and then, they’re kissing, right on the last note. 

“That was so beautiful,” Harry murmurs against his lips. “You’re beautiful, your voice, your personality, everything.”

Louis feels as though his heart is going to burst in his chest and he’s going to die right here. He doesn’t want to deal with feelings and emotions though, not with Harry, because he’s not gay. But, he’s got a way to distract him.

He sits Harry on the edge of the piano, pulls his jeans down, fits his cock into his mouth and sucks him off, swallowing every drop and murmuring a quite “thank you” before walking out.  
~  
Louis doesn’t give it much thought anymore, just gets fucked by Harry and leaves, and it’s become routine for them. It’s just a thing they do and no one knows about it, and it’s going to stay that way. 

New Years Eve rolls around, and even though everyone is on break, the group decides to get together in London for the night, rent out two hotel rooms, and have their own little party. 

Louis has a couple of drinks, but not enough to be incoherent. Harry’s only had two, but he’s such a lightweight and Louis can see the pink on his cheeks and he laughs a little too loud and he’s so endearing. 

“Hey, love, you alright?” Louis asks with a smile, putting his hand on his lower back, shouting over the music of the club.

“I’m great!” Harry smiles, stumbling slightly.

“Still have an hour to go before midnight, I think you’re cut off for the night,” Louis smiles.

“Can we celebrate back in our room? Instead of in this drunk crowd?” Harry whines, and Louis nods because it’ll be so much nicer with just the two of them. 

“Yeah, we can leave whenever you’re ready.”

“Few more dances first!” Harry shouts, turning Louis around and pressing his crotch to Louis’ backside, holding his hips and moving to the music. Louis really can’t find a reason to objectify because Harry is very drunk and so is everyone else around them. 

Louis can tell Harry is ready to go at around half past eleven, the way his body seems to slump and his voice gets slower. He finds the other three boys and tells them they’re heading up early and wishes them all a happy new year, saying they’ll see them tomorrow. 

Harry is dead weight against Louis’ side, so he needs to be practically dragged to their hotel room. 

“Who are you gonna kiss at midnight?” Harry ask cheekily when he sits on the bed, grinning at Louis like a little kid.

“Well, I was hoping I’d be spending the night with Kate Upton and I could kiss her but it seems that I am stuck here with you and you seem to be my only option,” Louis grins and Harry pouts.

“That’s not funny at all.”

“Kidding, kidding, you’re hotter than Kate Upton,” Louis winks, straddling his hips and they just look at each other for a while, soft smiles on their lips. He can hear people in the street counting down from 60, and when Louis thinks about it, starting off the New Year by kissing Harry is pretty great. They continue to look at each other through the whole countdown.

“10,” Louis breathes.

“9,” Harry whispers.

“8,” Louis’ hand brushes hair from Harry’s forehead.

“7,” Harry grips Louis’ hips a little tighter.

“6,” Louis holds Harry’s shoulders.

“5,” Harry pushes their foreheads together.

“4,” Louis’ eyelids flutter.

“3,” Harry’s mouth is so close, Louis feels his breath on his lips.

“2,” Louis’ voice is soft, his eyes closing.

“1,” their lips fit together perfectly. 

Louis can taste the alcohol on his tongue, the sweetness of the coconut in the pina coladas Harry was drinking. They fall back on the bed, Harry’s arms enclosing Louis’ slim waist. It’s a new year, and Louis thinks he wants to try something new. 

“Hey, H,” Louis says softly against his lips.

“Mm?”

“Wanna bottom tonight? Try it out?”

“We can do that.”

“Okay,” Louis breathes, kissing him again. Harry giggles up at him, a nice buzz running through his veins from the alcohol. 

Louis is nervous, of course, because this is Harry’s first time getting fucked. Once Louis undresses them both, he opens Harry up with gentle fingers. Harry arches into it, his voice louder than normal, and Louis silently reminds himself to let Harry drink more often. 

Harry begs for Louis, whines and sweating. Louis grins, rolling a condom on and sinking into him slowly. It’s good, really good, and Louis can feel his eyes rolling to the back of his head. 

After they both reach their climax, Louis pulls Harry into his arms and they’re both asleep quickly. Louis doesn’t even really think about the fact that they’re cuddling because he’s a little bit drunk and a lot happy.  
~  
Louis doesn’t make the same mistake again, he makes sure of it. Cuddling was nice, of course, but cuddling is gay, and Louis is not gay. 

He stares at the pile of laundry in his room, having an internal debate with himself if he should finally do a load or not. He knows it’s starting to stick, and Harry is out, so he might as well do it. 

HE drags himself out of bed with his laundry bag dragging behind him as he walks to the laundry room across the hallway. He hates doing laundry and he can usually talk Harry into doing it for him with a good blowjob. But Harry’s in class and Louis really needs clean clothes, so, yeah.

“Oh my god, how do you work this thing?” a girl whines, pressing random buttons on the machine.

“Uh, hi, do you need some help?” Louis asks when he walks in, putting his laundry bag on unoccupied machine.

“Yes, please,” she sighs. “I’m just visiting my brother and he asked me to do a load of laundry for him. I had nothing else to do so I figured it wouldn’t hurt, but I can’t turn this machine on.”

“Yeah, they’re annoying,” Louis laughs. “Who’s your brother?” he asks, turning the machine on for her.

“Harry Styles. He lives in room 305,” she answers.

“Wait, you’re Gemma?” Louis asks, looking at her and yeah, he sees the resemblance. Same mouth, same smile, and she’s hot, just like Harry. 

“Um, yeah, I guess you know my brother?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re best friends. I’m Louis Tomlinson,” he smiles, giving her hand a shake.

“Louis? Oh my god, Harry’s always talking about you?”

“Is he? What has he told you?” Louis asks, worried Harry told her about what they’ve been doing.

“Nothing important, just how you guys hang out a lot and you’re really funny and you live with Liam. Simple stuff, I guess.”

“Oh, yeah. You…you guys look alike.”

 

“I look like a man, then?” she teases and Louis laughs.

“No, no. Your brother is just feminine,” they both laugh, but Louis shakes his head. “Kidding. You’re beautiful, honestly. You guys have the same smile, with the dimples. It’s endearing.”

“Yeah? You like my dimples?” she asks with a smile and Louis nods.

“Yeah,” Louis hums, putting his hands on her hips. “Harry isn’t getting back for a while…and I’m free the rest of the day.”

“Hmm, are you trying to tell me something?”

“Well, if you’d let me I’d like to show you a good time. It involves us without clothes,” Louis grins mischievously. 

“Well, Louis Tomlinson, we just met,” Gemma muses. 

“We have plenty of time to get to know each other later,” Louis says quietly, leaning in and kissing her quick and soft. She smiles without saying anything, grabbing the detergent, the detergent Harry uses, the smell Louis has become to fond of. He follows her, their hands clasped together, walking into Harry’s dorm room. 

They kiss for a while, Louis lying her on Harry’s bed, convincing himself this is just like being with Harry, except she’s got boobs and a vagina and Harry has neither of those. Louis likes girl, though, obviously, because he’s very straight. 

When he rolls on a condom and thrusts into her, he closes his eyes and tells himself this is no different than Harry. Except it’s so different, this is nothing like Harry, and he wants Harry. 

“Louis?!” Harry shouts, slamming the door shut. Louis looks up and over his shoulder, seeing standing in the doorway, throwing his backpack on the floor. “Please don’t tell me that’s my sister. That better not be my sister, Louis.”

“Harry-“ Gemma starts, her voice strained. 

“My sister?! Are you kidding me?!” Harry yells. Louis gets up quickly, pulling on his sweats quickly.

“Harry, listen, this is nothing,” Louis says calmly.

“I can’t believe you would do something this stupid!” Harry yells. Niall opens the door, humming a Justin Bieber song and chewing on a chicken nugget from McDonalds. None of them notice him walk in, and when he hears the yelling, he turns and walks to Zayn’s room instead. 

“Nothing?! Now my sister is nothing?! How could you do this to me, Louis? How could you do it with my sister or all people? “ Harry screams. 

“We were just fooling around, H, it doesn’t mean anything,” Gemma says softly, covering herself in the sheet. 

“I thought we had something special, Louis,” Harry says softly, his voice drowning in pain. “I’ve been ignoring the fact that you leave me every time we get too close. I’ve been ignoring the fact that you never stay and cuddle with me and I especially ignore the fact that you won’t admit you’re feelings. But this….this I can’t ignore. This is my sister. We’ve been through so much together and now…now this."

“Harry, I’m sorry."

"You know I gave up my _virginity_ to you?" Harry nearly whimpers. 

"You what?" Louis asks in shock. "You...you didn't say that. You never told me, Harry, and that's kind of a big deal! You let me do that!"

"I trusted you, Louis! I trusted you so much! I knew you'd react this way, so I didn't tell you," Harry says, taking a long breath.

"I wish you didn't trust me because I don't deserve your trust. Listen, I know I’ve been shitty but I’m not gay, okay? This is just…fooling around,” Louis sighs.

“What?” Harry says, his eyes full of anger. “You’re not gay? Oh my god, why won’t you just admit it?! Why are you so afraid of who you are?!”

“I’m not afraid! I’m straight!” Louis yells back.

“Jesus Christ. This is pathetic, Louis. I can’t believe you would do this to me. Do you know how much I fucking love you? And I was too afraid to tell you?” Harry says, his voice shaking as tears start to fall. “God, I love you so much.”

“Harry, I’m sorry, but I’m not gay.”

“Just accept it, Louis! Please just…tell me you love me, Louis. Tell me you love me back. Say you love me,” Harry whimpers. 

“I can’t say that,” Louis says softly. “I can’t say it if I don’t mean. I’m sorry.”

He walks out quickly, leaving Harry to fall on the floor sobbing. 

“Harry, Harry,” Gemma calls once she has clothes on. She sits on her knees besides him and rubs his back. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry; I would never have done that if I had known. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Gemma, it doesn’t matter! He doesn’t love me!” Harry cries, sitting against his bed. “He never loved me. I wasted all this time hoping he would come around and accept it, and now…now he’s gone.”

“Harry, he cares about you and he loves you, he’s just scared,” Gemma soothes and Harry shakes his head.

“He just told the both of us he doesn’t love me, Gemma! And he went and slept with you!”

Gemma doesn’t say anything, just holds him and lets him cry it out for a while. She knows he’s in pain and doesn’t want to make it any worse, especially after what she just did.  
~  
“Can you believe those two?!” Niall groans. Liam and Zayn are playing Xbox on Zayn’s bed as Niall eats at Zayn’s desk. “They’re so in love it’s gross.”

“I know. I’m so sick of all this tension between them. I want to go back to how it used to be,” Zayn says. “Ha! Goal!”

“Damnit!” Liam shouts. “I’m going to get you for that.”

“Guys, seriously, we need to do something about Louis and Harry. Louis is my wingman, and if he doesn’t cheer up and start coming out with us again, I’m not going to get laid, and then I will be unhappy and I will make you two unhappy,” Niall complains, munching on a fry. Liam sighs, pausing the game of FIFA. 

“Alright, we should talk about it, Ni, you’re right,” he says. “They’re driving me crazy. I’m pretty sure they don’t know we know.”

“Probably not,” Zayn shrugs. 

“Well with the sound of their fighting they won’t be fucking for a while,” Niall sighs. “It sounded pretty bad.”

“What even happened?” Liam asks.

“No idea, I walked out. I’m not dealing with it anymore,” Niall says firmly. 

“Why don’t we force them to talk? Like, lock them in a room together and not let them out until they sort out their feelings,” Zayn suggests. 

“That’s actually a good idea,” Liam agrees. “I should probably go see if Louis is alright.”

“Yeah, I’ll go check on Harry,” Niall sighs.

Before they leave, they sort out their plan for how they’re going to get their best friends together, finally.  
~  
“Lou? Y’alright?” Liam asks softly, closing the door behind him.

“’M fine,” Louis sighs, facing the wall, bundled under the covers.

“Want to talk? Niall said you and Harry were fighting.”

“Don’t want to talk about it, Li. It was my fault anyway,” Louis shrugs. 

“Alright, fine. Do you want to at least grab dinner? I’ll pay,” Liam offers weakly.

“Not hungry, thanks. I’m gonna nap.”

“Alright, well I’m going to grab some food with Zayn and Niall. Call if you need anything.”

“Kay.”

Liam sighs and leaves the room quietly.  
~  
“Supply closet on our floor! It’s got a lock outside of it!” Niall shouts happily. “That’s where we’ll lock them and they can finally sort their shit out!”

“What if they kill each other?” Zayn asks seriously. 

“We’ll check for any weapons before we toss them in,” Liam shrugs. 

“We might have to,” Niall sighs. “I just want this to be over.”

“I think this is perfect. I really believe this can work if we do this right,” Zayn says confidently. 

“Who are we throwing in first?” Liam asks.

“I’m thinking Harry because he’ll probably throw less of a fit than Louis. If Louis goes in there alone he’s going to find a way to break that door down, but if Louis sees Harry maybe he’ll shut up,” Niall shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“I can’t believe it’s been over a week and they haven’t talked at all yet,” Zayn sighs. “I thought this would blow over easily, and I guess not.”

“When we’re done with them, they’ll be happier than ever and at their wedding, they’ll have us to thank,” Niall grins.  
~  
“Harry! Want to get lunch?” Niall greets happily when he walks into their room. 

“Lunch? I’m not that hungry,” Harry sighs, sticking his nose back into his textbook.

“C’mon, mate, I don’t know the last time you ate. You need to eat something, so let’s go,” Niall groans, grabbing Harry’s wrist and yanking him off the bed. Harry whines like a child.

“Nooo, I don’t want to eat. I want to sulk.”

“We’re going to get you a big fat burger and shut you up.”

“But I’m on a diet. I can’t eat burgers,” Harry crosses his arms.

“Oh, piss off, Styles. You’re going to eat a burger. You’re a college man and you need a burger.”

Niall leads him out by his shoulders, Liam and Zayn standing at the doorway of the supply closet. 

“Are Liam and Zayn coming too, then?” Harry asks, and Niall shakes his head.

“No, you’re not coming, actually,” Niall says quickly. Zayn opens the door and Liam helps Niall push Harry into the small room, locking the door behind him with the key they were able to steal from the custodian when he wasn’t looking. 

“What are you idiots doing?!” Harry shouts, banging on the door and jiggling on the doorknob. 

None of them answer him, but Niall motions down the hall to Louis’ room. 

“Li? You gonna get him?”

“Yeah, be right back,” Liam nods. He jogs down the hallway and opens up their dorm room, finding Louis lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. “Are you alive?”

“No,” Louis answers solemnly. 

“I think it’s about time you finally cheered up and stopped moping around. Besides, the floor is no place to be doing it. Let’s go get drunk or something!” Liam exclaims.

“It’s 4 in the afternoon,” Louis replies.

“Very close to 5 o’clock. C’mon, it’ll be fun! You haven’t been out in ages!”

“I don’t want to,” Louis whines. “Just leave me here until I rot away and die.”

“No, I’m not going to let this happen to you. We’re going,” Liam says firmly, picking Louis off the ground and tossing him over his shoulder.

“No! Put me down now, Payne! Don’t use your strength against me, this is an unfair fight! You know I don’t go to the gym!” Louis cries, kicking his legs out and hitting Liam’s muscular back.

“I always offer to take you with me,” Liam grins, taking him down the hallway. 

“Ugh, you know I don’t like exercising. You knew this was my weakness. You were always planning to use this to your advantage,” Louis rants. 

“You’re going to waste your voice,” Liam muses. “Shut up.”

Louis huffs, giving up all his power.

“Now, just be a good boy and don’t kill anyone,” Liam says sternly, walking through the opened up supply closet door and putting Louis down on his feet. “Have fun.”

The door closes and locks before Louis can even process what happens. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Louis mumbles. He turns his body and notices Harry is sitting on the floor, playing with the hole in his jeans. “What?”

“They locked us in here,” Harry says slowly. “I think they expect us to work it out.”

“Do they know what happened between us?” Louis asks suddenly, and Harry shakes his head with a bitter laugh.

“No, I never told them anything. It’s much too humiliating for me to tell, anyway,” Harry says softly, averting his eyes.

“Harry-“ Louis starts, but Harry looks up at him, pain etched in his features, and he cuts him off.

“No, Louis. You don’t get to do this. I don’t want your pity or any of that bullshit! You broke my fucking heart! You humiliated me and you don’t give a shit about my feelings! Here I am wearing my heart on my sleeve, just wanting you to fall in love with me, and you won’t even accept who you are! That’s not fair! You led me on! Did you just expect me to fuck you without feelings? Just be your toy until you were over your little ‘phase’?” Harry yells, tears filling his eyes.

“Am I allowed to speak now?” Louis asks softly. 

“Do what you want, I don’t care anymore,” Harry mutters, going back to playing with his jeans. Louis sits down on the floor next to Harry, looking straight ahead.

“So, I’ve had a lot of time to think about us for the past two weeks,” Louis starts, his voice gentle. “And you’re right, about everything. I should never have done any of this to you because you’re worth so much more. I know how stupid I was for denying being gay, but it just…it was overwhelming I guess. I actually called my mom crying about it,” he laughs a little, shaking his head. “I was a mess. And this might sound wrong or whatever but…the entire time I was with your sister I kept thinking of you.”

“You what?!” Harry says loudly, laughing. “Oh my god.”

“I know, I know,” Louis giggles. “I kept thinking, ‘this was so much more fun with Harry’. Don’t tell Gemma.”

“I won’t,” Harry smiles.

“Good. And...and I lied to you, you know, about loving you. I never should have told you I didn’t. I should have told you exactly how I felt, and the truth is, I love you so much it scares me. I’ve been miserable without you, honestly, and it’s sort of horrifying. I hate myself for how much I hurt you and you’ve been nothing but amazing. You deserve so much better than me, Harry, I know that. And I’m so sorry for doing this to you,” Louis’ voice is soft and strained. 

“Louis…” Harry whispers. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything, I’ll understand if never talk to talk to me again. I was awful to you and you deserve the world,” Louis takes a shaky breath. 

“Louis, listen to me. That might be true, and yeah, you fucked up and destroyed me but…I don’t want anyone unless it’s you,” Harry looks at him, biting his lip. 

“What? How…how could you want someone so awful? You must have shit taste.”

“Maybe but…I love you, despite all the shit you put me through,” Harry says lowly.

“You still love me?” Louis whispers, his eyes wide and full of tears.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever stop. You mean far too much to me,” Harry replies.

“I think…I think if you’re willing to give it a shot, we could be really great together,” Louis declares softly. 

“I think you’re right,” Harry murmurs, voice quiet, afraid of breaking this moment.

“Are we…going to do this then?” Louis asks quietly, his lips moving closer to Harry’s.

“Yeah, yeah, I think we should,” Harry whispers. 

“Good.”

Louis closes the distance between them, their lips matching up and gliding easily over one another’s. Their noses bump, which only causes them to giggle into their mouths. 

“I’ve missed you a whole lot,” Louis murmurs into his mouth.

“Want to show me how much?”

“Yeah, yeah, definitely.”

Louis straddles his lap, draping his arms around Harry’s neck and swiping his tongue along Harry’s bottom lip. His hands are up Harry’s shirt within seconds, feeling the muscles flex underneath his fingertips. Louis knows he can’t be without Harry too long; he misses him way too much to let him go.

“Don’t ever let me go,” Harry mumbles, as if he’s reading Louis’ mind.

“Never ever, okay? You and I from now on,” Louis swears, rubbing his thumb against Harry’s defined jawbone. He pulls Harry’s shirt off, kisses over his throat and sucking a dark bruise into the pale skin. “I want everyone to know you belong to me.”

Harry moans in response, holding Louis’ hips tightly. 

“You’re being a tease,” he whines. Louis giggles, satisfied with the blotch on Harry’s neck and pulls off his own shirt.

“Sorry, love, I’ll get to it, then.”

Louis peels Harry’s jeans off to his mid-thigh, shaking his head and laughing.

“I give up with these, babe. Too tight to bother.”

“Want me to stop wearing pants? I don’t mind,” Harry winks.

“No, babe, I’d be too jealous of everyone looking at your legs. I want these for myself,” Louis grins. He takes off his joggers easily, tossing them aside. “You know, as embarrassing as this may be, I’ve been fingering myself to thoughts of you. And it’s completely unfair because it’s very unsatisfying compared to your cock.”

“Yeah?” Harry asks with a deep inhale. “That makes me feel special.”

“You are special, and I even did it today in the bloody shower, thank you very much.”

“Mm, hot. I’d like to have been there,” Harry smirks.

“I know,” Louis smiles, kissing him softly. “Do you have anything?”

“Yeah, back pocket,” Harry says a little breathlessly. Louis reaches behind his legs, pulling out a lubricated condom.

“Perfect. Now, I have to ask, were you planning to fuck someone in a supply closet, or do you always carry these around?” Louis smirks, holding the condom up.

“To be fair, I was hoping I would be locked in here with Zayn,” Harry huffs and Louis’ smiles drops.

“You’re not funny,” Louis retorts dryly. He rips open the foil with his teeth, rolling the condom onto Harry easily. “I find no humor in your jokes.”

“You’re still going to let me fuck you, though,” Harry grins triumphantly.

“Only because you have a nice cock,” Louis sticks his tongue out at him, sitting up high on his knees and pressing down onto Harry slowly. “I hate your personality.”

“Mhm,” Harry smiles, gripping his slim waist. “I hate yours too. Much too cocky.”

“Ugh, you’re intolerable,” Louis whines, sinking slowly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They move together at the perfect pace, because neither of them wants to rush this. Sure, they’re on the floor of a supply closet and it smells like ammonia and varies cleaning products, but they have each other and everything is finally good and they don’t want it to be over too fast. 

“Mm, baby,” Louis moans, tossing his head back, his fingernails creating crescent moons into Harry’s skin, right over his shoulder blades. Harry almost swoons at the new nickname, and he feels his heart pound happily in his chest.

“Getting close, babe?” Harry asks lowly, his hands roaming Louis’ back. 

“Mhm,” Louis gasps. Harry’s hands find themselves in his hair, pulling him down for a long kiss. Louis melts into it easily, their teeth clacking and Louis stealing Harry’s breath right out of his mouth. 

“Oh my god!” a thick Irish accent shouts, the sound of the door hitting the wall, his feet hitting the tile quickly. “Zayn! Get me the bleach and pour it into my eyes! Oh my god!”

“What is your problem, mate?” Liam asks.

“They’re doing it!” Niall complains. “They weren’t supposed to fuck in there! Oh my god, gross!”

Louis and Harry look at each other, grinning like fools, and Louis giggles like a little girl, hiding his face in Harry’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he saw that.”

“Eh, we’re both good looking, it’s fine,” Harry shrugs, laughing harder. 

“Think we should go talk to them or something?” Louis asks, his cheeks flushed.

“Mm, probably, after we finish this,” Harry winks. He’s able to stretch out and slam the door closed. “Where were we?”  
~  
Within the week, Louis moved into Harry’s room, courtesy of their best friends. ‘If I have to step on one of your used flavored condoms again, I’m going to throw myself out the window!’ Niall shouted, shoving Louis’ stuff into the room. Really, the couple had no objections. They even pushed the beds together like in old movies, but on more occasions than not, Louis ended up sleeping right on top of Harry. 

So now, Liam and Niall were living together, Zayn sleeping over in their bedroom whenever possible, and Harry and Louis finally had all the alone time in the world, well, besides the times when their best friends would barge in with food or yelling about something that happened.

It was better this way, honestly, because Louis and Harry found any way to sneak into each other’s dorms during the night, accidently waking up their roommates, and they, Niall especially, couldn’t take it anymore, and took action into their own hands by moving Louis out of Liam’s room and into Harry’s. 

Louis isn’t scared anymore, he’s sure of it when they’re writing a song together one rainy afternoon. He doesn’t need to hide away in his special spots to do it anymore because he’s got Harry and that’s okay, it’s so okay. Harry is on his stomach on his bed, his own journal on the bed as Harry scribbles onto it. Louis sits up against the headboard, looking at the way Harry’s shoulders are so broad and muscular but his waist is so slim, how his lower back dips just a little bit, how his shoulders move gently underneath his thin t-shirt when he writes. He knows this is safe, knows he can get comfortable here, because this feels like home and Harry isn’t going anywhere. 

Louis has already written his own song for Harry, titled it Strong, and he plans to let him see it soon, maybe after their date they have planned for Friday. He wants it to be private and special, because it was hard for him to write. The words came easily, but show Louis’ vulnerable side, shows how much he loves Harry and how he isn’t scared of love anymore, and he can’t wait for Harry to hear it.

“Babe, listen to this line, how does it sound? I know you want to leave so baby be with me so happily,” Harry sings, his voice strong and sure, and Louis wants to listen to him sing until the day he dies, and even after that. He idly wonders if angels sound anything like Harry Styles when they sing. 

“I like it, babe,” Louis grins. 

“Well, I have an entire chorus,” Harry laughs, reading over the lyrics. 

“That’s something to be proud of, though, babe. Want to run through it?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry grins, sitting up and putting the journal between their legs. Before they can even sing a note, their friends are opening the door, holding brown bags that smell like French fries and burgers.

“Got food! Might be a little soggy from the rain, but I’m sure it tastes fine,” Niall beams, tossing a bag to Harry and Louis.

“Why do you three monsters have to come in here all the time like you own our room?” Louis groans, falling dramatically into Harry’s side. Harry smiles, holding onto his boyfriend.

“You’d be lost without us,” Zayn deadpans, sitting on the floor. “What are you two doing anyway?”

“We wrote a song. Actually, just the chorus, but yeah,” Harry smiles.

“No, Harry wrote a song. I barely helped,” Louis says, grinning at Harry. Harry rolls his eyes, squeezing him affectionately. 

“Can we see it?” Liam asks, sprawling across the foot of the beds.

“Yeah, if you want,” Harry shrugs, handing him the journal. 

“Can you sing it for us? And maybe we can sing it with you, see how it sounds,” Niall shrugs.

“That’s a pretty good idea, actually,” Harry says thoughtfully. 

Harry and Louis sing the other boys the harmony and melody, giving them a sense of how it should be sung. The boys get the hang of it easily and they sit around singing.

I don’t care what people say when we’re together  
You know I want to be the one to hold you when you sleep  
I just want it to be you and I forever  
I know you want to leave so c’mon, baby, be with me so happily 

They sound good, really good, and Louis is smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. 

“Wow, that was impressive,” Louis nods, amazed.

“Yeah, who knows, we could be a famous boyband that travels the world and have girls falling at our feet,” Niall booms with a grin on his face.

They all laugh at the ridiculous idea.

“That would be sick, though, have to admit,” Harry says.

“Yeah, but I’m happy just being here with you lot,” Louis smiles, his voice soft as he looks up at his boyfriend.

“Yeah, me too,” Harry agrees, pressing a kiss to his lips.

And yeah, as long as Louis has his boys with him, these next four years shouldn’t be so bad.


End file.
